U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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