he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
