your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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