I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
