fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
