you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
