One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
