dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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