Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
