i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
