i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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