I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
