I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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