i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it glows. i had to have it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
