I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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