I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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