I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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