just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize