I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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