I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
