sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
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Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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