he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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