escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
