Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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