You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
