Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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