Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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