Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize