so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
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I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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