he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
