Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
