his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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