Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
