Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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