Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
