Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
