The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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