i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I could make wine with my vomit
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
