margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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