Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
