Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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