apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
