We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
