just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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