i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wish there were birth control emojis
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
