are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
