How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is it penis luge time yet?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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