Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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