hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
