Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
