Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
