who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
