I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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