he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
