well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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