8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
