So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
