So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
