Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
