is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So much rum. So many feels.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
