last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
