Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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