I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize